Cancer men are sweet, lovable people who are in touch with their feelings, in tune with others’ feelings, and great communicators. He’s a great person to connect with, and you can feel that the two of you are growing closer.
There’s just one issue, though. He has started acting just a little differently, and you feel that he may be testing and observing you. More than likely, he probably is.
No worries because we’ll show you how and why he’s testing you – and what you can do to ace these tests with flying colors.
1 He Watches How You Interact With Everyone Else
Cancer men are sensitive and empathetic and have a lot of emotions they usually keep to themselves. They are in tune with others’ needs, so it can be very jarring for them to be near someone who lacks empathy or kindness.
When he’s watching you interact with others, he’s making sure that you’re respectful and reacting appropriately around others. You don’t necessarily have to have great intuition, but you do need to show that you generally care about others and can be charitable and patient.
He cannot tolerate selfishness or overinflated egos, so this is an essential aspect that he will be watching closely.
2 He Asks Lots Of Personal Questions
Cancer men are sweet creatures who have a lot of larger-than-life ambitions. He doesn’t need his partner to help him on his journey, though that would be nice, but really he needs someone who is equally as passionate and ambitious.
It would drive him crazy to share a life with someone who lacks motivation, so he may ask you many questions regarding your dreams, career, life goals, five-step plans, and hobbies.
Most Cancer men also long to create a family of their own someday. Expect him to bring up family, children (foster, adopted, or biological), and living situations early on.
He will probably also inquire about your relationship with your own family and how often you’re willing to make time for his family, which is likely a priority for him.
3 He Brings Up Deep Discussions And Big Ideas
Don’t be surprised if he starts heavier conversations earlier in the relationship. He’s trying to figure out how open-minded you are and if you’re willing to talk about more than surface-level topics.
You don’t have to be brilliant; you just have to be open and willing to give some back and forth on all topics. Oh, if you don’t have a clue about something, just say that. He will be way more impressed by someone humble and willing to say, “I’m not educated enough on that subject to have an opinion,” than for you to try to wing it and pretend to know everything.
He’s usually a pretty reserved guy too, so if he delves into his childhood, trauma, or great insecurities, that is a massive sign that he is interested in you and trusts you.
Still, just because he trusts you doesn’t mean that he isn’t also paying attention to how you treat him. Pay attention when he starts to scratch at conversations that go beyond the surface, and reciprocate, if you’re comfortable, to show him you’re on the same page.
A nice bonus would be for you to initiate new topics too. This shows him that you’re a thinker and will have an exciting life together.
4 He Takes An Interest In Your Hobbies And Dreams
Again, Cancer men love to be near people with passions, goals, and dreams. He will show you that he cares by learning about what you do for fun and then doing his best to participate or support you.
During this process, he will make mental notes to himself about how you handle rejection, obstacles, and failure, how you act after “winning,” and how you approach difficulties in your life.
If you’re social, he’s going to watch how you treat people who are both doing better and worse than you too. He wants to make sure that he’s made a solid choice of his romantic partner.
Another little trait he’s looking for is your organization. He really wants to know if you’re a neat, tidy, and organized person. He is, for the most part, and it’s important to him that you can get along someday if you decide to live together or get married.
Remember that Cancer men are full of light and love, so if he really enjoys your company, he will probably fall in love with what makes you happy too. No matter if you’ve introduced him to painting, jogging, cooking, baseball, or skiing, he’ll do his best to assimilate and try it out.
5 He Invites You To Meet His Friends And Family
His zodiac sign is attached to the 4th House, meaning that relationships, romantic and all others, are a priority for him.
Unless something awful has happened, he is likely close to his nuclear and extended family and will want you to be near them too. When he introduces you to his family (and friends that are close like family), he is trying to decipher if you could blend in with them or not. He’s also trying to see how you treat them and if you and the family mutually like each other. He really wants everyone to get along.
If you don’t enjoy being around his family, you need to understand that the relationship either won’t work or it will require a lot of quiet nodding and smiling on your behalf to appease him and the family.
When you meet his inner circle, it’s essential that you’re accommodating with everyone, from the tiny toddler playing on the floor to the men standing outside at the grill, to the women who are cracking jokes and enjoying one another’s company.
You have to be versatile and genuinely happy to see everyone. He’s an intuitive guy; he will pick up on disingenuous behavior, even if his family members can’t.
6 He Gives Thoughtful Gifts, Often
This man lives in his head a lot, plus he observes other people carefully, and he has a great sense of intuition. This combination of gifts makes him an excellent gift-giver who always seems to hit the mark effortlessly.
If he begins to shower you with sweet gifts or acts of kindness, it’s because he’s really into you. Now for the test – how will you react?
Will you thank him with a smile on your face and show him your appreciation? Will you act standoffish and awkward? Will you critique what he does for you? Will you actually use the gift, even weeks later?
He wants to see what kind of a receiver you are and decide if you two will be compatible.
He is also likely prying to see if you’ll return his efforts. You don’t have to match his spending, but you should match his efforts and thoughtfulness. Cancer men can easily fall into toxic situations where they give over and over with zero reciprocation from their partner.
If you can show him that you appreciate what he does and then match it, well, it will feel like a match made in heaven for him. Here’s a pro tip: lean into sentimental. He notices all the little things about everyone else and draws conclusions from that to better understand people and then gives gifts accordingly. If you can do the same for him, it will mean everything to him.
So, for example, if he told you about his favorite childhood dog and expressed his frustration with the one tiny grainy photo he has of him, consider painting (or commissioning an artist) to create a larger portrait based on that small photo.
He’ll be amazed that you held onto that nugget of information for so long and then acted on it for him.
7 He Reveals His Thoughts And Emotions
Cancer men are notoriously quiet and reserved, making the dating process difficult and, at times, painful.
When he finally begins to open up to you, you must lean in, listen, and make sure he knows that you like and appreciate it. When he opens up to you, he’s also checking to see if you truly have an interest in him.
If you can share more about yourself, without interrupting him, then please do.
If you aren’t comfortable being open with him yet, then tell him that and explain why at least a little. If something is too painful or uncomfortable for you to talk about, he will completely understand, but just give him an idea that it’s an off-topic subject for now. He will appreciate knowing that, strengthening your relationship and his faith in you.
On a related note, if he is willing to share old photos and stories and even has an open-phone policy around you (as in, it’s totally okay for you to use and look at his phone), then he clearly likes you a lot, he feels serious with you, and he wants to know how you take this.
If you act closed off to the idea of being more open together (without an explanation, at least), he is going to take that personally and pull back.
He may also initiate sharing in physical ways too, such as loaning you books, sharing streaming accounts, and even offering you a drawer or two at his place. Here, he wants to see how you react to this, and if you are a good steward of what is given or loaned to you.
9 He Might Grill You With Questions
Cancer men who have a dating history will likely go through a phase with you where they pepper you with questions and ask you to reiterate what you’ve said before. More than likely, he has a history with an unreliable or unfaithful partner, and he wants to make sure he doesn’t go through that again.
It can be irritating to be with someone who doesn’t trust you, but this will not last long. Once he establishes that you’re a safe person to trust and confide in, he will back off.
Try not to let this period get you down or feel insecure. With that said, ensure you’re on your best behavior and don’t give him any reason to be suspicious of you.
10 He Might Act Irritable
Now, this may be an intentional test, or it could be an accidental reveal of his moodiness. Either way, it’s likely a small test of your character.
He will gauge how much you actually like him and if you really see a future together. If you’re easily frightened or put off by his changing moods, that is a big red flag for him. Conversely, if you can’t handle someone who has significant mood changes, you should probably do yourself (and him) a favor by ending the relationship.
Yes, he will gain better control of his emotions and overall demeanor as he matures, but this is an incredibly slow process that will take him years and years to master.
11 He Pays Close Attention To Your Attitude In The Bedroom
It may seem shallow, but he wants you to be compatible physically and emotionally during intimacy. He feels compelled to have sex out of the need for connection and emotional closeness more than the actual physical act of it.
He is a giver, and you’ll really notice this in the bedroom. Still, it’s important that you aren’t a chronic “taker” without reciprocating. He isn’t the type to ask you to meet his needs; you need to initiate that yourself. If you’re not into what he needs, he will probably feel hurt or off-put by that.
During your love-making sessions, he’s also noticing if your wants (kinks, preferences) are similar and compatible with his.
He also wants to know if you’re enthusiastic about being together and what your aftercare is. If, for example, you jump up and immediately want to get away, that will be a red flag because he is about emotional intimacy. He wants to connect with you, talk, and cuddle.
12 He Fades Away Some
If he starts to pull away from you, this is not because he wants space; it’s because he wants to know if you’ll notice or care. You have to initiate conversations with him, show an interest, and even chase after him a little bit if he starts to step back. He wants to be wanted and loved.